One evening, after a shower, I rushed out to find my 3-year-old son crying and covered in red paint, while my wife sat nearby, seemingly lost in her iPad. Feeling confused and frustrated, I soon realized there was a deeper problem—one that threatened our family.
It had been an ordinary night. My wife was in her usual spot, scrolling through her iPad, while I assumed the kids were in bed. I thought it was the perfect time for a relaxing, long shower. As I stood under the hot water, I faintly heard a cry. Initially, I dismissed it, assuming it was nothing serious, but the cry soon intensified, becoming more desperate.
“Daddy! Daddy!” my son’s voice pierced through the sound of running water. I quickly turned off the shower, grabbed a towel, and rushed out. As I passed through the family room, I noticed my wife still absorbed in her iPad, seemingly unaware of the chaos in the other room.
“You couldn’t calm him down?” I asked, my voice sharper than I intended. Without looking up, she replied, “I tried three times,” in a tone that sounded indifferent.
Feeling frustrated, I hurried into my son’s room, expecting to comfort him, but nothing could have prepared me for what I found. He was sitting up in his bed, shaking and sobbing. “Daddy, I made a mess,” he cried, his words breaking my heart. I reassured him, thinking it was just tears, but as I held him, I noticed something was wrong—his pajamas were soaked. I turned on the flashlight on my phone, and that’s when I saw it: red paint everywhere. My initial shock made me fear it was blood, but upon closer inspection, I realized it was paint from the jar he had somehow knocked over.
I gently wiped his face and tried to remain calm. “Why didn’t Mommy come help you?” I asked softly. His response, “Mommy didn’t check on me,” hit me hard. I had assumed she had tried, but now, I wasn’t so sure.
After cleaning him up, I returned to the family room, feeling the weight of the situation. My wife hadn’t moved from her spot. Frustrated, I asked, “How could you not hear him crying?” She repeated, “I tried three times,” without any emotion. My anger flared as I pointed out that our son had said she never checked on him. Her lack of response left me feeling even more helpless. Something was clearly wrong, and it wasn’t just a bad night.
The following day, I packed a bag for my son and me. I needed space to figure things out. At my sister’s place, I made an unexpected call to my mother-in-law, hoping she might have some insight. I told her everything, and after a long pause, she promised to talk to her daughter.
A few days later, my mother-in-law called back. Her voice was softer than usual as she explained that my wife had opened up about her struggles with depression. The pressures of motherhood and losing her sense of self had overwhelmed her. The word “depression” hit me hard—I had been so caught up in my own frustration that I hadn’t realized something deeper was happening.
My wife began seeing a therapist, and although she didn’t share much at first, I started to notice small changes over time. One day, she asked me to come home, and as I walked in, she apologized for how lost she had become. Her voice trembled as she acknowledged the pain she had been going through and her desire to change, not just for herself but for our family.
Over the months, things began to improve. My wife started painting again, reconnecting with a part of herself she had lost. Slowly, her bond with our son strengthened as they spent time reading and drawing together. The distance that had once grown between us began to close.
Our family wasn’t perfect, but we were healing—together.