What makes an older woman sexy? I fell asleep the other night wondering this, having contemplated the subtle erosion of the various bodily bits which supposedly evoke sexual urges.
What makes an older woman sexy? I fell asleep the other night wondering this, having contemplated the subtle erosion of the various bodily bits which supposedly evoke sexual urges.
But before I launch into my exegesis, I must make a minor (and defensive) detour and query the same about older men. What do we find sexy about Jeremy Irons or Clint Eastwood? Isn’t is their self-assurance? Their ease? Why is it considered that they look great when their hair turns silver and lines define their face, yet this doesn’t apply to women? I know, this is a huge topic and a bit of an old saw, and frankly I’m really bored by it, as any self respecting woman of our generation should be, and yet the imbalance does persist. (Oh yes, I forgot — and how could I, given contemporary media — we are sex objects.) I know… Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem did the mindful on our behalf, yet that did little for the Australopithecus brain of our male counterparts. Hello Ladies, we need to, as they say, represent.
dyed it too dark, or tinged it violet, or permed it, or waved it, or essentially made it look
seriously goofy. I mean really, do the same to a man and he’ll look ridiculous too. Then of
course, older dames insisted on wearing too much jewelry and makeup and floral print silks
or absurd matching outfits a la Queen Mum. So really, we’ve been doing it to ourselves for
years.
But let’s get down to the nitty gritty. What is it that makes an older woman sexy? First of all,
it’s how a woman inhabits her body. No matter the size or shape — is it her temple? Does
she treasure it? Is she proud of it? Does she own it? A woman who owns her body, is just
damn sexy. Every shape has its attendant curves and delights; a woman who knows how to
display them just plain rocks. And let’s not forget the structural elements, the bones, many
of which, as the flesh shifts, gain more presence, more sculptural gravitas. Consider
shoulders, consider hips, consider the back…
It’s like a signature, maybe funny and abrupt, maybe languorous and full of grace. It’s
something every woman should contemplate — how much is conveyed by the way she
moves…
grows more alluring with age. Don’t forget how much sex occurs in the dark. A resonant
voice, a voice modulated for allure, a ‘come hither’ voice, can unbutton any psyche. A
woman who has control over the tone, the inflection and the colors, can float you on the
oscillations, on the waves of her voice. Yes… Cougars purrrrrrr.
mind — for that is what creates the context, spins the tale. Knowing when to stroke, when to
resist, when to yield, when to quicken, when to slow… when to submit, when to dominate,
when to make a sudden volte-face… And, let’s banish any doubt an older mind, or shall
we say a sophisticated mind, filled with experience and stories and years of observation,
can knock a younger one out of the ring.
Then there are the eyes. The power that emanates can cause spontaneous combustion.
And of course, the mouth. It can hunt with agility at any age, and again, years of experience
make it a formidable adversary to any prey that it targets.
Ah, and then there is her hair. I was just about to descend into my down dog at yoga this
morning when a friend, well into her 60s, strode by, her honey blonde hair radiating
outward like that of a Botticelli nymph gone Electric Ladyland. This woman looks positively
archetypal on a yoga mat; she slides into her poses like a serpent, then holds them like a
Tantric Rodin. Truly, an inspiration to get on your mat. However, maybe you’ve clipped your
locks short, like Michelle Williams short. Since I sport that look, I happen to find it kind of
hot as well. First of all, it’s a truly liberating style (absolutely no maintenance) but it also
projects a sort of boyish quality — which can lead to some obstreperous behavior in the
bedroom.